A Note on Falling Behind
I’m falling behind…
An anxious scroll one evening through Instagram proves it. A steady stream of achievements and success stories roll on by and each beautiful image leaves you feeling more and more envious and inadequate. And then the panic sets in. Why aren’t I doing that? Why haven’t I achieved this already?
It’s easy to feel as if you’ve missed the boat as you compare where you are to where they are, to feel as though you haven’t measured up to your own expectations, and while everyone else seems to be winning at life, you’re the one languishing behind. Have you ever felt this way?
I have.
Those critical inner voices have had a field day with me in the past, berating me for my shortcomings, questioning me on why I’m not getting the same offerings and opportunities as other artists, and while I’m at it why don’t I work harder, faster, and more?
The truth is, none of us are falling behind, ever. We are exactly where we are meant to be at any given time, our unique life path unfolding in just the way it was always supposed to, taking us to exactly where we are destined to be.
The random photo you see on social media announcing an incredible milestone moment might have ten to fifteen years hard work behind it. Nobody, generally speaking, is an overnight success. There’s usually a whole heap of time, learning and experience (of highs and lows) for them to have reached that pivotal moment. Some of us have more time to spend working on, and chasing our dreams, while some of us have families, health issues or other life situations that may slow the process down somewhat. The important thing to remember is that we all get to where we’re meant to be going in the end.
Another thing to remember is the impact that the last two years has had upon us all. We are starting to feel fatigued after 24 months of living in fight or flight mode and with so much uncertainty surrounding us. People have suffered with their mental and physical health. It’s been an arduous and challenging time. If you have some things that you didn’t achieve, be gentle with yourself. You did (and are doing) the best you could under extraordinary circumstances.
There were quite a few projects I didn’t get around to completing myself last year because I didn’t have the energy or focus I needed. There were things I had to let go of too, and stop doing. I’d hoped for a better year, to have accomplished more, and for a moment I worried I’d fallen behind with everything…but when I sat down to review the last year month by month, I actually realised that what I did achieve, given the circumstances, was pretty amazing. And there’s plenty of time ahead for me to achieve all the things I want to.
Next time you find yourself feeling like you’re falling behind, do this:
Look back over the last twelve months and explore everything you did achieve - be proud of those accomplishments no matter how small.
Work at your own pace, focus on your own journey.
Be inspired by, but try not to emulate, others - your individuality is a gift.
Be kind to yourself if you’re not feeling your best. There is time for all you want to do in this life, it isn’t a race.
Keep an ideas journal to note down things that you want to do, then make a plan to do those things. I like to use mini, Moleskine Cahier journals that fit easily into a bag or pocket.
Remember that the only person you need ever compare yourself with, is yourself.
